What goes into planning a wedding?

Far more than most people expect, all at once: the timeline of the day, the psychology of who's attending and how the room feels, the guest list and seating arrangement, the full cost of everything, food types and allergies, and the content you want to remember it by, plus details no checklist mentions, like the first dance. It's a live production with a hundred simultaneous decisions.

Why do wedding coordinators deserve respect?

Because coordinating a wedding is a real craft: logistics, psychology, taste, and crisis management held in one head, on a day where the stakes are entirely emotional. As a creative who does complex production, watching a coordinator work gave me a whole new level of respect. It isn't just planning a party; it's running a live event where the client is also the main character.

What do couples forget when planning a wedding?

The human details in the middle of the logistics. Everyone says 'just enjoy it,' but you can still forget things like the first dance while you're buried in seating charts and allergy lists. The biggest thing people forget is to actually be present for the moment they're planning.

Do you need a wedding coordinator?

If you can, yes. Trying to be your own expert on something this complex is a fast way to lose the day itself. Leaning on someone who does this professionally lets you stay present instead of managing logistics on your own wedding.

I've Filmed Weddings and Still Had No Idea What Went Into One

I've shot videography for weddings. I still had no idea what actually went into one until I started planning my own. Sitting at our favorite coffee shop with my fiancée Virginia and our wedding coordinator, it hit me all at once, the timelines, the guest psychology, the seating, the food, the allergies, the cost, the content, and the hundred decisions nobody warns you about. If you're a young couple about to do this: it's a lot, and the coordinators who do it for a living deserve real respect.

It's August 1st, 2026. Virginia and I are sitting at Roosevelt in Irvine, a coffee shop we love, meeting with our wedding coordinator. And I wanted to capture this moment honestly, because this is the personal side of things. As a creative, I thought I understood weddings. I've been on the production end of them. I was wrong about how much I understood.

What actually goes into planning a wedding?

More than you think, and it's all happening at once. You're thinking about the timeline of the day itself. The psychology of the people who are coming, who sits where, who gets along, how the room feels. The kind of content you want to create and remember it by. The guest list. The seating arrangement. The cost of every single thing. The food, the food types, the allergies. And that's before you get to the stuff nobody puts on a checklist. Everyone tells you to relax and enjoy it, and in the same breath you realize you still haven't figured out the dance you're supposed to do.

Why do wedding coordinators deserve more respect?

Because I do complex creative production for a living, and watching a coordinator hold all of this in their head humbled me. This is a craft. It's logistics and psychology and taste and crisis management, all at once, on a day where the stakes are entirely emotional. As one creative looking at another, I have a whole new level of respect for the people in this industry. It's not "just planning a party." It's running a live production where the client is also the main character.

What I'd tell a young couple about to do this

Understand what's coming before you're in it. There are more moving parts than anyone tells you, timelines, people, money, food, and all the small human details in between. Lean on people who do this professionally instead of trying to be the expert yourself; that's the same lesson I keep relearning about stepping back and letting a system carry the weight, which I wrote about in Fifteen Years Without a Break. And on the practical side, if the cost is the scary part, point a skill you already have at it, that's exactly what I'm doing with my wedding photography sprint.

Remember the moment

Here's the part I don't want to lose. In the middle of the timelines and the seating charts and the allergy list, there's a coffee shop, a person you're about to marry, and a normal Tuesday that you'll want back someday. So while you're planning all of it, remember this moment. That's the whole point of the rest of it.

I'll share some of the wedding videography I did early in my career alongside this, the work that put me near this industry long before I understood it from the inside.